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Polyamory

How is the Covid-19 Pandemic Impacting Polyamorous Relationships?

The Covid-19 pandemic has its quarantine fingers in every pie, it seems. Social distancing and mask wearing are a part of most of our daily lives now. For monogamous folx, household units haven’t had to change their interactions with each other much. For polyamorous folx on the other hand…

Suddenly a whole new layer of safety protocols need to be considered. A community that already has (mostly) mastered communication about tricky topics, Covid-19 has provided new areas for us to explore and tackle.

Specific Covid-19 Things to Ask

  • Who do we isolate with?
  • Can we see other partners, if we aren’t isolating with them?
  • How often can we see them?
  • What if you are living alone?
  • What if you have kids?
  • What if they have kids?
  • What if someone tests positive?

Lovey and I had the easy part of already living together with our children. But our partners? Bats lives alone but doesn’t drive. So Lovey, of course, committed himself to help them out getting to and from work and appointments and what not. Being in the restaurant biz, they were essential and continued to work through it all. And since Bats was isolating and distancing from everyone else in their life (as much as possible), we all collectively decided the risk of hanging out and including them in our own isolation bubble was low.

Boyfriend is in the caretaker biz, so also essential. However the risk posed was a little higher. He has his own kids and roommates to take into consideration too. More people means more exposure. So we refrained from seeing each other in person for the first month, during the worst of the outbreak (to date). It sucked. (Boy, did it suck.) But it passed and we were all safer for it.

Now, post-first surge and initial quarantine, we are trying to return to some sort of new normal. Which means limited activities and lots of mask wearing, hand washing, and sanitizing. But it also means showing grace when we just need to get out and do something fun, like a trip to a museum for a special exhibit. Or to see the new baby animals at the zoo. Or to have a night out and go on a date.

Dating

I know many others out there are thinking about dating again. Whether that means dates out with current partners or new dates with new people. And what about group meetings? We can only decide for ourselves, knowing our own risks.

For us: we see each other and our partners whenever possible. We social distance when out on dates. We are not meeting new people for dates. We wear our masks and wash our hands. We are not starting new relationships. We talk and meet people online but no new in person stuff. Because we want to be safe. And stop the spread of this virus so life can look closer to what it once was, sooner rather than later.

We hope you guys are doing the same. For the latest guidelines, I encourage you to check out the CDC’s website. And for closer to home recommendations, please look to your local Health Department.

Tell me how you are dealing with dating during Covid-19? Are you pursuing new relationships? How are you maintaining your existing relationships, and caring for your partners? How are you caring for yourself?